They Cannot Stand the Gaff

A famous saying in Cape Breton, “They Can’t Stand the Gaff,” was first uttered during the infamous strike of 1925. The strike began in March and shortly thereafter Andrew Merkel, a reporter with the Canadian Press interviewed J. E. McLurg, then Vice-President of BESCO. In describing the strike, McLurg boasted to Merkel, “Poker game, nothing, we hold all the cards. Things are getting better every day they stay out. Let them stay out two months or six months, it matters not, eventually they will have to come to us. They can’t stand the gaff.”

LYRICS

“They Cannot Stand the Gaff”

Seated round the table in the Council room of Hell
Sat the secret service agents of the Pit.
‘Twas the regular weekly meeting when they gathered there to tell
Of the things of Earth that with them made a “hit.”
They told of wars and strife and hate in every land and clime,
Of pestilence and murder and despair,
They told of orgies gluttonous in palaces sublime,
And of slums where children lived on scanty fare.

They reported on the grafter and the gambler and the sneak,
Of birds of prey who feast on human kind.
They told of slimy hypocrites with countenance so meek,
And of moral perverts tainting children’s minds
But the Prince of Darkness answered that their tales were small and boring,
There was nothing new in wickedness to hear;
And he showed his grave displeasure by their indolence deploring,
Till each imp began to shrink with timid fear.

Then spoke a lively demon from a land of ice and snow,
And said, “I think I have a good report,
For in Canada I’ve BESCO, Sir, to help me as you know,
And to them oft in sin I must resort.
Their work has been most excellent in many years gone by,
They’ve bee (sic) loyal to Your Majesty, I know;
They’ve made little children suffer and afflicted mother’s cry,
And o’er the land have scattered pain and woe.

They’ve starved and crushed and broken the lives of many men,
They’re as merciless as Hell could have them be;
And though their slaves are starving they cut their wage again,
And laughed aloud their agony to see.”

Then spoke their chief official (who would grace our service here)
As he mocked the suffering children with a laugh;
“From these angry, cursing miners we have nothing now to fear,
For I’m positive they cannot stand the gaff.”
Then Satan’s brow grew gribhter (sic) and loud he laughed and long;
“That’s a joke,” he said, “at which all hell can laugh!
And my blessing rests eternal on the man so brave and strong,
Who mocks at pain and anguish with, ‘They cannot stand the gaff.’”

By RICHARD MACKINNON

About Richard MacKinnon

Dr. Richard MacKinnon is the former Tier One Canada Research Chair in Intangible Cultural Heritage at Cape Breton University (2005-2012). His research interests include all aspects of Atlantic Canada’s culture including oral traditions, music, language, material culture and vernacular architecture. He grew up in New Waterford, playing in bands with his brother and friends and still performs with Cape Breton bands, ByGones and Misfit Boys. He is the founding director of the Centre for Cape Breton Studies, a research centre at Cape Breton University that includes a state-of-the-art digitization lab and the Rotary Music Performance Analysis Room that is used by faculty, visiting scholars, undergraduate, graduate and post-doctoral students.